I don’t suffer nearly as much as others do.  Perhaps what I go through does not deserve to be called suffering.  Yet, the hard things I experience are real for me and what I can feel as “suffering.”  Many events have come to a head this past week which leads me to new ideas and fresh dealings with my “sufferings”.  In many ways I already know this information in my head but as life is lived, God speaks in new ways and shows new insights and applications.  He also continues to mold and shape me and is gracious to me despite my thick-headedness.

My discontent and grumblings and complaints about my suffering is sin.  Dwelling on how “bad” and “unfair” things are denies God’s goodness and grace and says to Him, “You made a mistake, you are not in control, you don’t know what you’re doing.”  This all is displeasing to Him and doesn’t play out well in my life.

How could Paul rejoice and have hope in prison?  I’m sure he must have had some hard days, but he found God’s glory and His grace in those hard events.  Can’t I do this?  Can’t the same Holy Spirit work this in my life?

I have complained and grumbled and not asked God or sought Him out in these sufferings.  Sufferings and “deserts” we go through are designed to draw us closer to Him and lean on Him and see Him show up.  It has become a regular prayer of mine now to ask Him to “incline my heart” and “please let me see your glory in these events.”  I have to confess that my heart these past 2 or 3 days has been softened and my attitude improving.  I pray and ask for daily filling through all these difficulties.